n00dz
this weekend with my friend away, i thought it would be a good idea to drink my weight in red wine and text him some topless photos. except it wasn’t a good idea at all. besides the fact that we aren’t exactly friends in the traditional sense, more like borderline enemies who hook up once a year, camera in the bathroom mirror isn’t the height of sexiness.
i also think his phone is the model that you buy when you’ve left your cell in a cab 4 times in the last month and say fuck it, i’m buying the cheapest one available at rogers. so blurry, lavatory staged images of my nipples are floating around. lovely. knowing him they’ll end up on www.hipsterrunoff.com under “worst alt boobs.”
in the depths of hell that was my n00dz hang over, i realized that everyone does it. one can’t help but wonder, do guys show their friends the naked pictures girls send them? off course they do. because girls sure as hell show their friends. a quick spotlight search for “cock” on my lap top calls up multiple images of my girlfriends ex lovers. i even have an entire folder of filthy texts an old boyfriend sent me, complete with photos of us holding the phone to our faces, laughing at “you want my hot load.”
if the blurry pictures of my boobs aren’t exactly porn material, guys take note- your half hard penis poking out from under your beer gut isn’t either. no matter how much you drink, no matter how many miles are between you, DON’T SEND N00DZ!
hahahaha! webcam light is never flattering either. if you are going to send noodz, and of course you should never do so, then you better make sure you and your parts look damn hot in them.
so…. the noodz. can we see ‘em?