2.) Sign me up!

2.) If only advertisers could use their brilliance for good rather than evil.

Brevity is a virtue.

This is a collection of short short stories consisting of just six words. It was inspired by Ernest Hemingway’s famous challenge.

Six Word Stories will include stories by famous people, reader submissions, myself, and the Internet at large.”

This is the second installment in the ‘make it stop’ series (first seen in my previous blog) which began with the tragedy known as ’shutter shades’.  This is somewhat related (ie both are utilized and subsequently bastardized, exploited, and done do death by sir Kanye West).

I would argue that use of the vocoder was ONLY acceptable in the classic ‘Computer Love’ by Zapp & Roger:

And MAYBE even in California Love (also featuring Roger).

Guys like T-Pain and Kanye, arguably considered the ‘hitmakers’ of today, use autotune, the modernized vocoder, throughout their ENTIRE albums, creating a chain reaction of autotune crossover to the point where Britney and other talentless ’singers’ have started using it to camouflage their embarrassingly unqualified pipes.  I shouldn’t go so far as to say ‘talentless’, I mean, she’s an entertainer, and her and those pussycat dolls and the other tartlet popstars of today sure know how to stick out their tatas, shake their booties, and get their hair extensions caught up in their headset mics like they don’t even give a care!

(Side note/tangent – I wanna know what happened to chicks like Salt N’ Pepa and Envogue who had us singing Shoop and Whatta Man!)

Now I turn on the radio (just to you know, see what it’s come to these days) and EVERY god damn song is autotuned.  Roger is spinning in his grave (wait, is he still alive?  Sorry man).

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

I stole this article from here.

So, it’s pretty much been happening since 2005, and Pepperoni Pizza will be spinning in his future Hummer’s grave, but the cutbacks and layoffs and bankruptcies of the North American auto industry are becoming frighteningly more commonplace and signify the imminent end, or at least substantial crippling, of the industry that built America.

As the assembly lines slow down, the blue collar workers in auto plant supported cities like Windsor, Ontario lose their benefits, and worse, their jobs and livelihoods.  The gap between the rich and poor is, as predicted, growing steadily.

Furthermore, the deterioration of the auto industry perhaps signifies the crippling of the grandmother of excessive consumerism – Ford’s assembly line.  After all, the ability to mass produce endless stock led to the need to promise happiness in an unneeded product.  Then, the need for credit, the greed, and the current giant snowball of horror that is the worst economic crisis seen in decades.

Sad that those at the bottom will feel the most crippling pinch as a result of this long-coming lesson, but fitting that the industry that started it all is the one of the first to go down hard.

A massive alien spaceship is to land on Earth today. The rumors were triggered by Aussie psychic Blossom Goodchild, who said the aliens had told her of their plans that a huge intergalactic spaceship will appear over the American desert.

Blossom’s most recent book “The Bridge” documents the messages channelled to her by the Cosmic Beings known as The Federation of Light. In her most recent encounters with them they have announced that one of their craft will appear in our skies on October 14th 2008 for a period of three days in such a way as to prove to us the existence of other life forms in the Universe. The Federation of Light stress that they come in LOVE to help us and our planet move to a new Higher Vibration of Love. They have asked Blossom to get this message out to as many people as possible.

TO LEADERS, GOVERNORS, POLITICIANS AND
ALL PEOPLE OF EARTH ….

We wish it to be understood that on the 14th day of your month of October in the year 2008 a craft of great size shall be visible within your skies. It shall be in the south of your hemisphere and it shall scan over many of your states.

We give to you the name of Alabama.

It has been decided that we shall remain within your atmosphere for the minimum of three of your twenty four hour periods.

During this time there will be much commotion upon your earth plane. Your highest authorities will be intruding into ‘our’ atmospherics that surround our ship. This ‘security field’ is necessary for us, as there shall take place a ‘farce’ from those in your world who shall try to deny that we come in LOVE.

KNOW OF THIS
WE COME TO ASSIST YOUR WORLD.
WE DO NOT COME TO TAKE OVER.
WE DO NOT COME TO DESTRUCT.
WE COME TO GIVE YOU HOPE.

We are beings from other planets, who for many eons of your time have been preparing for these days ahead.

We ask each soul that reads of these words to accept in their heart the Truth that lies within. For in that place there is the knowing that this is to take place.

There shall be many who deny. There shall be many who dismiss.
There shall be those who KNOW of this TRUTH.
Which ever you may be … let this be understood.
IT SHALL TAKE PLACE.

We give you the opportunity to capture on screen this particular ship. There shall be no contact in the form that those of your planet would like. For this initial presentation, we shall simply be presenting our ship to you.

We say to you … That shall certainly be enough to comprehend initially.

All kinds of methods shall be carried out in order to try and penetrate through our security barrier, but they shall be to no avail.

Until we can PROVE to you that we come in LOVE, we will not allow the fullness of our visits to be uncovered.

KNOW OF THIS …
THIS IS THE BEGINNING … NOT THE END

Your governments and your media will try to disguise us. This will fail. All avenues have been covered by us.

Your media will have no choice but to portray the TRUTH for it shall be there for all to see.

Friends of earth. Do not be afraid. We beseech you to TRUST that we come to bring the downfall of those who have misintentions for the well being of your planet.

If we do not intervene now … as has been planned for eons of your earth time … then we fear it would be too late.

WE ASK YOU TO ACCEPT US IN LOVE.
FOR THAT IS WHY WE COME.

The sayings that your world have been aware of via your movie screens etc were not merely make believe. We have been planting and watering seeds of Truth on your planet in preparation for these days.

FOR INDEED
WE COME IN PEACE.

Fill your souls with TRUST in that knowledge.
We are your brothers and sisters from other places.

Our technology is far advanced. There are those in high places of ruling that KNOW full well of this. Therefore they know that there would be little point trying to ‘pretend’ that they need weapons to destroy us.

On this day that we appear, we ask you to listen only to your hearts and NOT to the words of those who shall be in great fear of losing their power.

For too long your world has lived under a cloud that most of you have been unaware of. If you were to KNOW the Truths of what has been hidden from you, you would be appalled and in great disbelief.

It is time for your souls to be allowed to be who they are.
The veil is to be removed.

BE OF JOY.
IT IS A TIME FOR THAT.
YOU SHALL KNOW OF THIS AS YOUR HEART ACCEPTS THE TRUE REASON FOR OUR VISIT.
TO BRING YOU AN UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE.  KNOW THIS.

We choose to leave it at that. Be vigilant. Keep your eyes to the skies. Keep LOVE in your heart.

WE … THE FEDERATION OF LIGHT … SIGN OFF, GIVING YOU ENCOURAGEMENT AND HOPE AS WE BEGIN THE ASCENSION INTO THE NEW WORLD.

Each one of you has chosen to be here for this ascension. Choose now whether your human form will …

Accept it through LOVE Or Reject it through FEAR. May the Highest aspect of your soul fill you with Light as you move bravely forward. Gratitude to each one as they assist us in the cause
____________________

A note from Blossom.
I am aware that Alabama is NOT in the Southern Hemisphere. I queried this to the Federation and was told … ‘In days of old, it used to be’. If anyone can find information on this, I would be most grateful if you could contact me via my website.

It has also been suggested that ‘Alabama’ maybe the name of a craft.

On researching it appears that Alabama has a NASA space centre. .

It required great courage to send this out. I hope this allows you the courage within yourselves to continue on your own personal search for YOUR TRUTH.

may it fill you with much
LOVE LIGHT LAUGHTER & GOLDEN RAYS
Blossom Goodchild

anonymous

I’ve been seeing a lot of photoshopped pics of McCain’s sidekick all over the internet, and in tasteless email forwards, featuring her head glued onto naked pornstar bodies and other suggestively dressed sex symbols and it’s starting to make me a bit queasy.

Feminists are in an uproar over this, even ones who totally disagree with her policies.  Personally, I think she’s a hosebag, but it kinda makes you wonder doesn’t it?

So all these old right wing farts think she’s hot and send eachother the photoshopped images with ‘her’ tits hanging out and they all chuckle and snort and maybe get a semi and congratulate eachother about it.  I wonder if this is some kind of guerilla viral marketing tactic to get more votes from sexist, horny old men?  Kinda sucks though, that since she’s kinda a milf, that’s what takes centre stage and everyone kinda forgets what she stands for.

What I wanna know is, doesn’t anyone think Hilary is hot? Adrian?

So the new 90210 is tonight.  It would be amazing if they did it like it was still set in the 90s.  I wonder if Ahhhndrea will be on it.  She must be like at least 60 now since she was like 35 when she was playing that nerdy teenaged newspaper chick.  She was almost as annoying as Tori Spelling’s alien boob job.

Emily Valentine was by far my fav though.