OMG! WTF?

From the BBC:

In the middle of the news conference with Mr Maliki, Iraqi television journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi stood up and shouted “this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog,” before hurling a shoe at Mr Bush which narrowly missed him.

Showing the soles of shoes to someone is a sign of contempt in Arab culture.

Muntadar al-Zaidi was quickly wrestled to the ground and hauled away

With his second shoe, which the president also managed to dodge, Mr Zaidi said: “This is for the widows and orphans and all those killed in Iraq.”

Mr Zaidi, a correspondent for Cairo-based al-Baghdadiya TV, was then wrestled to the ground by security personnel and hauled away.

“If you want the facts, it’s a size 10 shoe that he threw,” Mr Bush joked afterwards.

Al-Baghdadiya’s bureau chief told the Associated Press that he had no idea what prompted Mr Zaidi to attack President Bush, although reports say he was once kidnapped by a militia and beaten up.

“I am trying to reach Muntadar since the incident, but in vain,” said Fityan Mohammed. “His phone is switched off.”

Correspondents said the attack was symbolic. Iraqis threw shoes and used them to beat Saddam Hussein’s statue after his overthrow.

Watch the awesome video here.

I was going to rifle off a list of the worst Christmas songs ever, which would have been populated with some pretty obvious ones, like 8 Days of Christmas by Destiny’s Child (‘on the eighth day of Christmas by baby gave to me a pair of Chloe shades and a diamond belly ring‘).  Or on the complete opposite side of the consumerism spectrum there’s the old fav that makes you feel like an asshole for having a good time with your egg nog and turkey dinner Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aid (‘where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears, and the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom, well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you’)

I would like to take this opportunity to nominate what I believe to be the absolute worst, most offensive Christmas song of all time.

Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas - by Eazy E

(from www.mp3lyrics.org - these were the most decipherable and accurate lyrics for this song I could find)

[Uncle Dolamite]
Come on over hunnie
and give your uncle Dolamite a kiss
[*kissing Sounds*]
well what you want baby?

[Baby]
Would you tell me a story?

[Uncle Dolamite]
You want me to tell you a story?

[Baby]
Hell yeah!

[Other Baby]
Me too!

[Uncle Dolamite]
Yes Hunnie I’m a tell you a story
about the bad ass Eazy-E
he was drinkin’ whisky and gin
at the age of three
listen and listen well
he’s a bad Muthafu-

[Mother]
Gimmie that god damn book!
here let me read you this one
Christmas in Compton
It was a silent night,
yes a holy night
until Mr. Claus turned
into Santa
muthafuckin’ Wright?

[Carolers]
Deck the halls with balls of holy
fa la la la la la la la la
tis the season to be jolly….

[Eazy-E]
Merry Chrismas muthafucka!
[*Gun Shots*]
Merry muthafuckin’
Christmas and a ho ho ho!
while I’m ridin’ that cock
under the mistletoe
now dashin’ through the snow
in a candy rag top 6-4
over the hills I go
laughin’ at this ho
nuts on her chin ring
makin’ me feel right
oh what fun it is to know
that I’m gonna get the pussy tonight
so ring them bells, ring them bells
shes takin’ it all the way
oh what fun it is to
watch her suck my dick
this way
hey ring them bells, ring them bells
she’s takin’ it all the way
oh what fun it is to
nut, while she’s suckin’
my dick
oh yay!
tis the season to get bicked
compton crime lick
and I’m smokin’ all this shit.

[Santa]
Ho ho ho come sit on my face
I mean lap and tell me what
you want for Chrismas
ho ho.

[Menajahtwa]
I want a sleigh ride
a cd player
a fifty rum
??? and I’m gonna cum
a VCR ???? some porno flicks
rudolph the red nose reindick
??? like a everlastin’ gobstoper
??? poppa
I dig a ho
crack a dough
by the nuts oh
???? fuckin’ in tha snow
I made him drop to his knees
yeah you know whats up
I said heres some candy
canes eat’em up
???? bon a petite with a
condom in nut tree.

[]
All I want for Chrismas is
my two front teeth
my two front teeth, my two front teeth
All I want for Chrismas is
my two front teeth
yo wheres ya rhyme tell me Buckwheat.

[Buck wheat]
Buckwheat is a wascal
that stole Christmas
and all the toys, boys and girls
fuck ya wishes
I got happy overjoyed in
this muthafucka
no indo under my tree so
Santa be a sucka
??? when I was young I
was the only kid
who had enough guts to be
good ole hearin’ on the East
I’d stay awake just to
let america know
that Santa was a fake
I used to believe in
Saint Dick when Elvis
was alive
but all that fuckin’
bullshit got played when
I was five
years old just a young bull titan
singin’ Silent Night,
Carolin’ Recitin’
now all I want for Chrismas
is my endo wreath
I got my two front teeth
uncle Eazy be the ????
just spread me a leaf
little kids don’t cry
when you find out Santa
Claus is just a fuckin’
lie.

[Eazy-E]
On the first day of
Christmas my homeboys
gave to me
three pounds of indo
two birds of cocaine
and a A muthafuckin’ K bitch.

[]
Eazy-E oh Eazy-E
show us how you treat those bitches
I saw mommy fuckin’ Eazy Claus.

[Eazy-E]
close the door little bitch
Or get these drawers.

[]
I’m a tell my daddy if
ya ass don’t stop.

[Eazy-E]
I don’t give a fuck
I’m gettin’ Christmas cock
ho ho ho and away I go.

[]
Oh Saint Nick’s got a dick like a pole
well wheres my shit
This mother fucker’s cheap

[Eazy-E]
Shut the fuck up bitches
and go back to sleep.

[]
Yo black what you want for Christmas?
yo black I want a job
??? corn on the cob
but a nigga will eat them chicken, and
chitlens, watermelon, corn
bread and some food
who’s climbin’ into my window
smokin’ that indo
my carin’ and high make a high know
Yo yo get out my fuckin’
yard with your carols
Yo black what you want for Christmas?
yo black I want some cash
so I can buy some indo,
chronic and some hash.

[]
a rump pa pum pum
a rump pa pum pum

[Every One]
Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas
Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas
Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas
and have a fucked up new year (x4)

[Eazy-E]
You
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!

[Mother]
And they all went to prison
and lived fucked up lives ever after
The End

I saw this posted on a BBS — there was no attribution.

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

I stole this article from here.

I learned to fuck from my cousin Fran, when I was 18. She was a year younger than me, and lived on a farm in Northern Wisconsin. I had been visiting this farm, every year, since I was about 12, but as Fran and I grew older, we developed a fond friendship, and in our teenage years we began to talk about boyfriends and girlfriends and sex. And we’d fool around with each other sometimes, out in the huge cornfield behind their house.

She was always trying to grab my crotch and lots of times I’d grab her from behind and massage her boobs, through her blouse, as they developed. When I was 17 and she was 16, she talked me into showing her my penis, and when I took it out it got really hard as she examined it, sitting there between the high stalks of corn. She also showed me her vagina,and let me touch it and sort of finger her.

But, we never had sex, much as we’d have liked to do so.

When I was 18, she wrote to me in the early Spring, and told me that when I came in June, to bring some condoms, as she had “something special” for me this year. Of course I knew what she meant, and so I managed to get a box of a dozen, through a friend of mine,and I packed them in my suitcase. The second day I was there, Fran asked me to go out to the cornfield with her, and when we were well into the standing stalks, she took off her T-shirt and I saw the two most beautiful breasts I’d ever seen. Not too small and not to big. Just right — full and firm, with nice erect nipples.

I got an immediate hard-on.

Then she took off her jeans and laid them on the ground. She had no panties on either, I saw this absolutely beautiful bush between her legs. She told me to get naked,too, which I did, and then she helped me roll a condom onto my ragingingly stiff cock, and she laid down. She said she wanted foreplay before we fucked, and so I laid down and started to kiss her on the mouth. Then I went to those gorgeous breasts and started kissing them from every side and taking her firm nipples between my lips, and sucking lightly on them with my mouth. She went absolutely wild! As I slowly descended down the rest of her body — her stomach, her belly button, her thighs, kissing her slowly and deliberately, she got very anxious, until finally she said –”Oh God, Rob, let’s do it. I want you to fuck me right now!” And so I did, very slowly and deliberately entering her vagina, inch by inch, thrust by thrust. She winced slightly as I broke her maidenhead, but then she, too, began to thrust upward into my penis, and we were soon rocking together in slow motion, enjoying every movement of our bodies.

She was so nice and tight. Her vaginal muscle just seemed to grasp my penis from every side as I slid up and down in her beautiful body. After perhaps ten minutes or so, I began to ejaculate. It was an absolutely great feeling, as my sperm erupted into the condom, and knowing that I was actually inside this beautiful, gorgeous girl.

“Oh, Oh, this is so wonderful,” Fran said. “Let’s never stop.”

Of course, we did have to stop eventually. We were out there probably an hour or so that first day. I used 2 of the twelve condoms I brought. We buried them in the dirt so no one would find them if someone came wandering down that particular row. I was there two weeks that Summer, and I used the entire box of twelve. The last day I was there, we wanted to fuck again, so badly, but the condoms were gone, so I talkled Fran into giving me a blow-job — something she’d never done before. But, even though it was her first time, she did a perfect job. The next Summer I went back for the last time, and we used two boxes of 12 that year. It was our last time together.I was off to college after that, and so was she. We wrote for awhile, but then she got married and I got married, and we didn’t see a lot of each other after that. But, everytime I drive by a cornfield, I think about my first fuck with Fran and the many times after that, we were pumping our bodies together under the warm Wisconsin sun, there amidst the cornstalks. It was a first time for both of us, and it was a tremendous experience. My wife, after we got married, often would say to me,” Where did you ever learn to fuck like that?” I would just smile, but I never told her.

P.S. I got a notice through the mail the other day that we are having a family reunion is July, and it will be held at Fran’s parents farm. Do you suppose we’d dare to try again after all these years? I am thinking about it.

———-

Taken from here.

Taken from here.

November 4, 2008. A day to remember. A black man is decisively elected as the next president of the United States.

I’m guessing a woman president to be the next big political milestone, then maybe a Latino after that. After all that, maybe…. just maybe, we’ll see an Asian in the White House.

Keeping hope alive for an Asian president by 2250.

Sarah Palin says the media criticizing her for criticizing Obama is a violation of her First Amendment rights.

LOL

So, it’s pretty much been happening since 2005, and Pepperoni Pizza will be spinning in his future Hummer’s grave, but the cutbacks and layoffs and bankruptcies of the North American auto industry are becoming frighteningly more commonplace and signify the imminent end, or at least substantial crippling, of the industry that built America.

As the assembly lines slow down, the blue collar workers in auto plant supported cities like Windsor, Ontario lose their benefits, and worse, their jobs and livelihoods.  The gap between the rich and poor is, as predicted, growing steadily.

Furthermore, the deterioration of the auto industry perhaps signifies the crippling of the grandmother of excessive consumerism - Ford’s assembly line.  After all, the ability to mass produce endless stock led to the need to promise happiness in an unneeded product.  Then, the need for credit, the greed, and the current giant snowball of horror that is the worst economic crisis seen in decades.

Sad that those at the bottom will feel the most crippling pinch as a result of this long-coming lesson, but fitting that the industry that started it all is the one of the first to go down hard.

A massive alien spaceship is to land on Earth today. The rumors were triggered by Aussie psychic Blossom Goodchild, who said the aliens had told her of their plans that a huge intergalactic spaceship will appear over the American desert.

Blossom’s most recent book “The Bridge” documents the messages channelled to her by the Cosmic Beings known as The Federation of Light. In her most recent encounters with them they have announced that one of their craft will appear in our skies on October 14th 2008 for a period of three days in such a way as to prove to us the existence of other life forms in the Universe. The Federation of Light stress that they come in LOVE to help us and our planet move to a new Higher Vibration of Love. They have asked Blossom to get this message out to as many people as possible.

TO LEADERS, GOVERNORS, POLITICIANS AND
ALL PEOPLE OF EARTH ….

We wish it to be understood that on the 14th day of your month of October in the year 2008 a craft of great size shall be visible within your skies. It shall be in the south of your hemisphere and it shall scan over many of your states.

We give to you the name of Alabama.

It has been decided that we shall remain within your atmosphere for the minimum of three of your twenty four hour periods.

During this time there will be much commotion upon your earth plane. Your highest authorities will be intruding into ‘our’ atmospherics that surround our ship. This ‘security field’ is necessary for us, as there shall take place a ‘farce’ from those in your world who shall try to deny that we come in LOVE.

KNOW OF THIS
WE COME TO ASSIST YOUR WORLD.
WE DO NOT COME TO TAKE OVER.
WE DO NOT COME TO DESTRUCT.
WE COME TO GIVE YOU HOPE.

We are beings from other planets, who for many eons of your time have been preparing for these days ahead.

We ask each soul that reads of these words to accept in their heart the Truth that lies within. For in that place there is the knowing that this is to take place.

There shall be many who deny. There shall be many who dismiss.
There shall be those who KNOW of this TRUTH.
Which ever you may be … let this be understood.
IT SHALL TAKE PLACE.

We give you the opportunity to capture on screen this particular ship. There shall be no contact in the form that those of your planet would like. For this initial presentation, we shall simply be presenting our ship to you.

We say to you … That shall certainly be enough to comprehend initially.

All kinds of methods shall be carried out in order to try and penetrate through our security barrier, but they shall be to no avail.

Until we can PROVE to you that we come in LOVE, we will not allow the fullness of our visits to be uncovered.

KNOW OF THIS …
THIS IS THE BEGINNING … NOT THE END

Your governments and your media will try to disguise us. This will fail. All avenues have been covered by us.

Your media will have no choice but to portray the TRUTH for it shall be there for all to see.

Friends of earth. Do not be afraid. We beseech you to TRUST that we come to bring the downfall of those who have misintentions for the well being of your planet.

If we do not intervene now … as has been planned for eons of your earth time … then we fear it would be too late.

WE ASK YOU TO ACCEPT US IN LOVE.
FOR THAT IS WHY WE COME.

The sayings that your world have been aware of via your movie screens etc were not merely make believe. We have been planting and watering seeds of Truth on your planet in preparation for these days.

FOR INDEED
WE COME IN PEACE.

Fill your souls with TRUST in that knowledge.
We are your brothers and sisters from other places.

Our technology is far advanced. There are those in high places of ruling that KNOW full well of this. Therefore they know that there would be little point trying to ‘pretend’ that they need weapons to destroy us.

On this day that we appear, we ask you to listen only to your hearts and NOT to the words of those who shall be in great fear of losing their power.

For too long your world has lived under a cloud that most of you have been unaware of. If you were to KNOW the Truths of what has been hidden from you, you would be appalled and in great disbelief.

It is time for your souls to be allowed to be who they are.
The veil is to be removed.

BE OF JOY.
IT IS A TIME FOR THAT.
YOU SHALL KNOW OF THIS AS YOUR HEART ACCEPTS THE TRUE REASON FOR OUR VISIT.
TO BRING YOU AN UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE.  KNOW THIS.

We choose to leave it at that. Be vigilant. Keep your eyes to the skies. Keep LOVE in your heart.

WE … THE FEDERATION OF LIGHT … SIGN OFF, GIVING YOU ENCOURAGEMENT AND HOPE AS WE BEGIN THE ASCENSION INTO THE NEW WORLD.

Each one of you has chosen to be here for this ascension. Choose now whether your human form will …

Accept it through LOVE Or Reject it through FEAR. May the Highest aspect of your soul fill you with Light as you move bravely forward. Gratitude to each one as they assist us in the cause
____________________

A note from Blossom.
I am aware that Alabama is NOT in the Southern Hemisphere. I queried this to the Federation and was told … ‘In days of old, it used to be’. If anyone can find information on this, I would be most grateful if you could contact me via my website.

It has also been suggested that ‘Alabama’ maybe the name of a craft.

On researching it appears that Alabama has a NASA space centre. .

It required great courage to send this out. I hope this allows you the courage within yourselves to continue on your own personal search for YOUR TRUTH.

may it fill you with much
LOVE LIGHT LAUGHTER & GOLDEN RAYS
Blossom Goodchild