Things are changing.  Drastically.  No one knows what’s going to happen, where we will end up, how to make sense of it all. Us humans, we love to judge, categorize and place things in historical context so we can feel like we know stuff about stuff.

-kewl mullato president

-financial crisis

-internet is killin it

-earth is dying

I’m not sure whether to claw my way to the cutting edge of communications and make trillions or to head for the highlands and shack up on a self sufficient farm and learn how to use a gun.  Too easy to just carry on biz as usual, but to my detriment?  Think I’m gonna go ponder this for a sec, drink some boxed water with Carles and wallow in existentialism.

This is the second installment in the ‘make it stop’ series (first seen in my previous blog) which began with the tragedy known as ’shutter shades’.  This is somewhat related (ie both are utilized and subsequently bastardized, exploited, and done do death by sir Kanye West).

I would argue that use of the vocoder was ONLY acceptable in the classic ‘Computer Love’ by Zapp & Roger:

And MAYBE even in California Love (also featuring Roger).

Guys like T-Pain and Kanye, arguably considered the ‘hitmakers’ of today, use autotune, the modernized vocoder, throughout their ENTIRE albums, creating a chain reaction of autotune crossover to the point where Britney and other talentless ’singers’ have started using it to camouflage their embarrassingly unqualified pipes.  I shouldn’t go so far as to say ‘talentless’, I mean, she’s an entertainer, and her and those pussycat dolls and the other tartlet popstars of today sure know how to stick out their tatas, shake their booties, and get their hair extensions caught up in their headset mics like they don’t even give a care!

(Side note/tangent – I wanna know what happened to chicks like Salt N’ Pepa and Envogue who had us singing Shoop and Whatta Man!)

Now I turn on the radio (just to you know, see what it’s come to these days) and EVERY god damn song is autotuned.  Roger is spinning in his grave (wait, is he still alive?  Sorry man).

So, it’s pretty much been happening since 2005, and Pepperoni Pizza will be spinning in his future Hummer’s grave, but the cutbacks and layoffs and bankruptcies of the North American auto industry are becoming frighteningly more commonplace and signify the imminent end, or at least substantial crippling, of the industry that built America.

As the assembly lines slow down, the blue collar workers in auto plant supported cities like Windsor, Ontario lose their benefits, and worse, their jobs and livelihoods.  The gap between the rich and poor is, as predicted, growing steadily.

Furthermore, the deterioration of the auto industry perhaps signifies the crippling of the grandmother of excessive consumerism – Ford’s assembly line.  After all, the ability to mass produce endless stock led to the need to promise happiness in an unneeded product.  Then, the need for credit, the greed, and the current giant snowball of horror that is the worst economic crisis seen in decades.

Sad that those at the bottom will feel the most crippling pinch as a result of this long-coming lesson, but fitting that the industry that started it all is the one of the first to go down hard.

I wish I never had to line up at the 49th. It really sucks to have to waste little precious time we have on this Earth lining up to cross the border. Why do we even have that border? It’s so pointless.

If America and Canada combined forces and became one nation, things would be so much better. We could take the best of both countries and really have a utopian society. Sort of like Voltron, but sovereign nations instead of mechanical lions.

These are just some of the American things I would love to have access to on a more frequent basis:

• Slightly cheaper gasoline even though our dollars are almost equal value
• Spicy Cheetos/ better junk food
• Target
• Apple stuff costs less even though our dollars are almost equal value
• Better TV programming
• Freedom Fries
• Powerball Jackpots
• Taco Bell and Pizza Huts are together
• Jack in the Box
• Better shopping
• Cheap flights to other places in the US such as New York, Florida, Vegas
• Pretty much all food/consumer related things.

In the words of Ariel the Mermaid, “…Wish I could be part of that world…”

*** I wrote all this stuff before that huge buyout credit mortgage stock market crisis, so umm I’ll wait a bit more before I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.

• socks with sandals
• tevas
• tank tops
• white sunglasses
• tight swimwear
• cell phone holster
• highlights
• jeans below underwear/ass
• sideways ballcap with flat brim (with or without original sticker)
• chains
• booming subwoofers
• civic or pontiac
• white car
• any combination of the above three
• cocaine habit
• coca cola with breakfast
• spitting
• nascar
• visor
• half butts
• white track pants
• nut-hugging sweatpants
• large set of keys attached to belt
• bluetooth
• face painting at sporting events

If you said yes to one or more of the above, consider yourself undatable!